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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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The SARS Epidemic

Many Americans are worried about the spread of SARS, the mysterious, deadly respiratory illness sweeping China and Hong Kong. What do you think?
  • "More than 100 people have died worldwide from SARS! More than 100 people! 100!"

    Lori Petruso Teacher
  • "Will stopping this virus once again require the mass smothering of chickens in plastic trash bags? Just wondering."

    Dan George Plumber
  • "You have to wonder what monstrosity the Orient will unleash on humanity next. I mean, SARS, anime, Toyotathons..."

    Frank Banks Systems Analyst
  • "From now on, I'm making sure to steer way the hell clear of the Chinatown section of my city, just like I always have."

    Todd Cassell Attorney
  • "With its limited exposure and 4 percent fatality rate, SARS lies somewhere between rubella and a NASCAR crash on my list of death fears."

    Alicia Green Florist
  • "Did you say terrorists were behind SARS? Wow, I thought you said that. I'll just repeat that until they know what actually causes it."

    Timothy Conn Factory Worker

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