The School-Choice Debate

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Horrifying Police Body Camera Footage Clearly Shows Current State Of America

CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.

Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.
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Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break

TUCSON, AZ—Saying they couldn’t believe such a wild exploit had even been attempted, employees at local marketing firm Synergy Media Services told reporters they were still completely dumbfounded Thursday after account manager Tim Gibbons managed to pull off a daring one-hour lunch break.

The School-Choice Debate

Debate is raging over the issue of school choice, whose advocates are calling for tax-supported vouchers that can go toward private-school tuition. What do you think?
  • "Me and all my friends here in Compton are hoping to go to Phillips-Exeter Preparatory Academy if this initiative passes."

    Bobby Moore
    Student
  • "The thing I like best about this plan is that it will help those who need it least."

    Stephen Reichel
    Chiropractor
  • "If private school is anything like it was in the 1983 teen sex romp of the same name, I want a voucher."

    Marty Slocum
    Systems Analyst
  • "Can't we argue about something more important to our children's education, like, say, prayer?"

    Stephanie Chambers
    Hairstylist
  • "This is a great way to solve all the problems caused by desegregation."

    Rich Bartholomew
    Gardener
  • "If I could go to one school, it would definitely have to be Degrassi High."

    Margaret Cort
    Painter