The Shroud Of Turin

Top Headlines

Recent News

New York City Abuzz Over New Resident

NEW YORK—With word spreading rapidly through office towers, apartment buildings, and across all five boroughs, sources confirmed Friday that New Yorkers were abuzz over reports that a new resident had moved to the city.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of July 7, 2014

ARIES: Your belief that nothing can stop you will be tested this week by depression, procrastination, concrete barriers, dysentery, armed gunmen, and the unanimous passage of several laws targeted specifically at stopping you.

Ranking Women Somehow Not Issue In Miss USA Debacle

NEW YORK—As backlash against the Miss USA pageant continues to spread following controversial anti-immigration remarks made by the contest’s owner, Donald Trump, sources confirmed this week that the overt ranking of women is somehow not a part of the ongoing nationwide outrage.

Insurance Only Covers Generic Heart Transplant

GALLATIN, TN—Saying he will just have to trust that the new organ he receives is as good as the other options out there, local man Keith Palmero confirmed Tuesday that his insurance provider would only cover a generic heart for his upcoming transplant surgery.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Business

Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break

TUCSON, AZ—Saying they couldn’t believe such a wild exploit had even been attempted, employees at local marketing firm Synergy Media Services told reporters they were still completely dumbfounded Thursday after account manager Tim Gibbons managed to pull off a daring one-hour lunch break.

Race Relations

The Shroud Of Turin

On public display for the first time in 20 years, the Shroud Of Turin—believed by millions to be Christ's burial shroud, despite being carbon-dated to the Middle Ages—is once again a hot topic of debate. What do you think?
  • "Christ's burial cloth? Give me a break. It looks like some stinky hippie used the good towels."

    Ricky Allen
    Civil Engineer
  • "Whether or not the face on the Shroud is truly that of our Lord, no man—except, of course, a trained scientist using radiocarbon dating—can say."

    Linda Flynn
    Chiropractor
  • "The 'Members Only' insignia on the left breast should be proof enough that the Shroud is fake."

    Lawrence Kingman
    Systems Analyst
  • "I'm not traveling all the way to Italy to see the Shroud Of Turin when we've got the world's largest ball of twine right here."

    Stacie Mazzilli
    Hairstylist
  • "That's nothing, man. I have Jesus' actual autograph. He signed my Bible at GodCon '97."

    Josh Taveras
    Security Guard
  • "You know those scientists who debunked the Shroud? They're all going to hell."

    Chad Swan
    Plumber
Next Story