adBlockCheck

The Social Security Time Bomb

Top Headlines

Recent News

Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Holidays

The Social Security Time Bomb

Experts continue to urge Congress to cut the growth of Social Security, warning that the nation faces unsustainable deficits if action isn't taken. What do you think?
  • "This certainly is bad news for the elderly, coming as it does on the heels of the Federal Aging and Ice Floes Act."

    Julie Hunt
    Teacher
  • "It's news like this that makes me wish I could stay 59 forever."

    Donald Nelson
    Inspector
  • "It's good I already have a taste for dog food."

    Jimmy Shaw
    Carpet Installer
  • "So much for my plan to live off Social Security while I travel the country banging Denny's cashiers in my Airstream."

    Dan Cox
    Mechanic
  • "This is really an economics issue. Were it, say, a women's-studies issue, I might have more insight to share."

    Emily Holmes
    Professor
  • "Everybody, relax. We'll be fine as soon as we get our money back from Iraq."

    Albert Robertson
    Systems Analyst

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close