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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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The Subway Series

For the first time in 44 years, baseball's World Series is a Subway Series, with the New York Mets and New York Yankees squaring off. What do you think of the all-Big Apple Fall Classic?
  • "At long last, the eyes of the nation are finally on New York."

    Danielle Coomes Graduate Student
  • "It'll be exciting to see which team's fans get to trash Times Square in victory rioting."

    Maryellen Janus Linguist
  • "As an Upper East Side Yankee fan, I prefer to think of this as a Door-To-Door Car-Service Series."

    Bill Anderson Stock Broker
  • "Know what would make this perfect? If there were some sort of hat or shirt that people excited about the series could buy and wear. Wait, wait–hear me out on this."

    Ray Loney File Clerk
  • "This is just the sort of thing that leads to epic, era-defining novels of the American experience by Don DeLillo."

    Larry Boone Systems Analyst
  • "I've been waiting years for this glorious event. What? No, I'm not a Met or Yankee fan. I'm a terrorist with a relatively small amount of plutonium."

    Victor Kritikos Trader

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