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Politics

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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The Tax-Cut Proposal

In his first major initiative as president, George W. Bush is lobbying hard for a controversial $1.6 trillion tax cut. What do you think?
  • "Finally, the burden of raising a family on a meager factory-job salary will be lifted slightly. What? It won't? Damn."

    Sunil Bardeekian Forklift Operator
  • "Is this one of those things that sounds great but only benefits the rich? Or is it one of those genuinely great, fairytale things that never really happens?"

    Hillary Green Art Historian
  • "I'm not sure what to make of all this. Can I get back to you after tonight's O'Reilly Factor?"

    Jill Yablonsky Homemaker
  • "A 10-year, $1.6 trillion cut to revive a softening economy and rein in spending impulses in Congress? Four words: Party at my place!"

    Frank Muncie Systems Analyst
  • "Income tax? Geez, I thought that highway toll I paid when we went to Taste Of Chicago last year took care of everything."

    Bill Bohnert Custodian
  • "This would be a tremendous boon to me and my fellow corporate titans if any of us actually paid taxes."

    Tom Wilhoyte CEO

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