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Study: Anxiety Resolved By Thinking About It Real Hard

Potentially offering hope to millions of Americans struggling with psychological and emotional problems, a study published this week in The New England Journal Of Medicine found that test subjects were capable of fully resolving their anxiety by thinking ...

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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The Ten Commandments

Legislatures in 12 states have taken measures this year to permit the display of the Ten Commandments in public schools and buildings. What do you think about this challenge to the separation of church and state?
  • "It's about time our nation's educators took steps to address the rampant problem of false-witness-bearing among our nation's youths."

    Irwin Wagner Systems Analyst
  • "I'm all for showing The Ten Commandments in public buildings. Have you seen it? Edward G. Robinson is hilarious."

    Frank Boggs Advertising Director
  • "I'm opposed to the Ten Commandments being posted at my county's courthouse. The decision of whether or not to kill should be left up to the individual."

    Bill Murvin Delivery Driver
  • "The Ten Commandments should be posted in all courtrooms. And the U.S. Constitution should be glued onto Jesus' chest in every church in America."

    Heidi Mancuso Psychologist
  • "Today's children need guidance. And nothing gets a bigger response out of kids than a list of rules hung on a wall."

    Judith Cole Librarian
  • "Sure, I think they should be posted in my high school. Only, they should add an 11th Commandment that says, 'Thou shalt not be such a fuckin' pussy, Jeff Pleisner.' Because Jeff Pleisner is such a fuckin' pussy."

    Brian Froehm Student

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