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Politics

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

What You Need To Know About The Dakota Access Pipeline

Construction is currently stalled on the Dakota Access Pipeline, which would connect North Dakota’s Bakken Shale development to oil tank farms in Illinois, by protests led by members of the Standing Rock Sioux tribe. The Onion provides answers to key questions about the project.

What Can Americans Expect Under A Trump Presidency?

With two months until the inauguration of Donald Trump, many Americans are wondering what his term will look like and what his administration might accomplish. The Onion answers some common questions about Trump’s upcoming presidency

James Comey Quickly Reopens Clinton Email Investigation For Few More Minutes

‘Nope, Looks Like It’s All Good Here,’ Says FBI Director

WASHINGTON—In a letter addressed to Congress that was quickly followed by a second message retracting the first, FBI director James Comey is said to have briefly reopened the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails for several more minutes Friday.

Pollsters Admit They Underestimated Voters’ Adrenal Glands

WASHINGTON—In response to widespread criticism that they had failed to predict Donald Trump’s victory in the 2016 election, analysts from polling organizations around the nation admitted Thursday they had underestimated the influence of voters’ adrenal glands on the presidential race.
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The Ten Commandments

Legislatures in 12 states have taken measures this year to permit the display of the Ten Commandments in public schools and buildings. What do you think about this challenge to the separation of church and state?
  • "It's about time our nation's educators took steps to address the rampant problem of false-witness-bearing among our nation's youths."

    Irwin Wagner Systems Analyst
  • "I'm all for showing The Ten Commandments in public buildings. Have you seen it? Edward G. Robinson is hilarious."

    Frank Boggs Advertising Director
  • "I'm opposed to the Ten Commandments being posted at my county's courthouse. The decision of whether or not to kill should be left up to the individual."

    Bill Murvin Delivery Driver
  • "The Ten Commandments should be posted in all courtrooms. And the U.S. Constitution should be glued onto Jesus' chest in every church in America."

    Heidi Mancuso Psychologist
  • "Today's children need guidance. And nothing gets a bigger response out of kids than a list of rules hung on a wall."

    Judith Cole Librarian
  • "Sure, I think they should be posted in my high school. Only, they should add an 11th Commandment that says, 'Thou shalt not be such a fuckin' pussy, Jeff Pleisner.' Because Jeff Pleisner is such a fuckin' pussy."

    Brian Froehm Student

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