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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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The Text Message Turns 20

Twenty years ago yesterday, London-based software engineer Neil Papworth sent the world’s first text message, “Merry Christmas,” to a telecommunications executive at a party across town. What do you think?

  • “For me, text messages will never even begin to approach the sexy anticipation of the fax.”

    Loni Carpendale Disulfurizer Tender
  • “Oh, cool. What texts have people sent since then?”

    Ken Blitz Unemployed
  • “I can’t even imagine what people did at parties before texting.”

    Godfrey Agnew Hoist Operator
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