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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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The Threat Of Cyberterrorism

With the business world becoming increasingly dependent on the Internet, there is concern that not enough is being done to guard against potentially devastating sabotage by "cyberterrorists." What do you think?
  • "You mean some hacker could disrupt the computerized billing and record-keeping of my local phone company, costing them millions of dollars? That's awesome."

    Frank Moreland Piano Teacher
  • "What if these terrorists got into the Snickers web site? They could potentially alter the peanuts-to-nougat ratio."

    Carol Sandberg Flight Attendant
  • "You don't think one of these cyberterrorists could somehow infiltrate a chat room and pretend to be a sexy girl, do you?"

    Donald Davis Systems Analyst
  • "No cyberterrorists shall gain access to my data—I'm protected by the coolest password ever: Shadowfax. Oh, no, I said it aloud! My hubris has undone me once again!"

    Phillip Sutcliffe Actuary
  • "As a nursing-home resident, I live in constant fear of the fiberterrorists who force me to take my Metamucil."

    Liz Durham Retiree
  • "Well, cyberterrorists may be difficult to capture in the act, but from what I know about people who are highly skilled with computers, they should be easy to beat up."

    Ernest Cey Speechwriter
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