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The Tyson Reinstatement

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The Tyson Reinstatement

Last week, a team of psychologists declared boxer Mike Tyson–suspended by the Nevada State Athletic Commission last year for biting off a piece of Evander Holyfield's ear–"troubled" but fit to fight. What do you think about Tyson's bid for reinstatement?
  • "I'm still not convinced that Tyson has the emotional and mental stability necessary to pummel the shit out of somebody."

    Amanda Petry Legal Secretary
  • "Tyson just hasn't been the same since that one time he was born."

    Danielle Garbey School Psychologist
  • "If the commission refuses to reinstate Tyson I'm sure he'll be happy to return to his first love: sexual assault."

    Chris Rozema Sales Consultant
  • "Tyson should be allowed to box only if he truthfully answers one question: Why'd he fuck Joey?"

    Jonathan Brookens Systems Analyst
  • "Tyson was provoked by Holyfield. The videotape clearly shows Holyfield hitting him."

    Tony Wilcox Surgeon
  • "That guy? He's nuts. I don't care what anybody says–that Freeman Dyson is one whacked-out physicist if he thinks anyone will ever construct a mobile artificial planet."

    Jerry Lopez Mathematician

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