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The Widening Income Gap

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Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.
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The Widening Income Gap

According to a recent report based on census data, the gap between the rich and poor widened in 2003. What do you think?
  • "Good. I was having a hard time telling the rich and poor apart."

    Rick Lembecker
    Developer
  • "What does 'rich' or 'poor' even mean? And before you start, I don't want to hear any of that 'annual household income' nonsense."

    Andrew Meijor
    Social Worker
  • "Sure, the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. But the great untold story is that the people in the exact middle are becoming a whole lot middler, too."

    Sheila Reed
    Nurse
  • "If this keeps up, I might finally be able to hire myself a white maid."

    Gary Wundrow
    Systems Analyst
  • "I realize that, historically, phrases like 'massive redistribution of wealth' are usually accompanied by rivers of blood. That said, it's about time for a massive redistribution of wealth."

    Kimberly Szaflarski
    Bill Collector
  • "Bottom line is, you're not buying this lawn mower."

    David Martinovich
    Salesman

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