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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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The World War II Memorial

The planned WWII Memorial on the National Mall has sparked controversy, its critics questioning its necessity, location, and design. What do you think?
  • "I think the solution is to keep talking about this for the next 20 years. Then, when the last WWII veteran finally dies, we can just drop the whole thing."

    Ronald Herr Landscaper
  • "Isn't Tom Brokaw's plan to personally fellate every living WWII veteran thanks enough?"

    Phillip Porter Systems Analyst
  • "I'm not convinced what they did was so great. I made it to the end of Castle Wolfenstein in, like, two hours."

    David Andujar Auto Mechanic
  • "This monument ruins the symmetry of the national mall. The World War III one, though, will nicely balance the south end and lead the eye toward the reflecting pool."

    Larry Hendrick Airline Pilot Larry Hendrick Airline Pilot
  • "Those WWII vets are just jealous of the Vietnam vets and Holocaust survivors."

    Elizabeth Oberkfell Translator
  • "Only by building a memorial to those who risked their lives for their country can we finally shut them up."

    Dana Forsch Social Worker

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