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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Third Of Fish Sold In U.S. Mislabeled As Different Species

Using genetic testing, researchers found that one-third of all fish sold as food in the U.S. was actually a different species than the one listed on the label or menu, with sushi bars misleading consumers most often. What do you think?

  • “Then it’s a good thing I don’t care what goes in my body.”

    Troy McManus Unemployed
  • “I doubt the sushi places are doing it intentionally. I bet the guys doing the study just don’t know how to order correctly.”

    Jenna Mosko Stable Attendant
  • “That’s why I stick to eating ground beef. I may not know what’s in it, but I know it’s gotta be one of four animals.”

    Jorge Zapata Rivet Heater
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