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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Thomas The Tank Engine Theme Park Announced

Massachusetts heritage railroad site Edaville USA has announced that it will soon break ground on a theme park based on the children’s television series Thomas the Tank Engine. What do you think?

  • “Thank God they’re finally building a theme park my kids will never drag me to.”

    Allie Maserole Focus Group Coordinator
  • “Yet another reason to visit Edaville!”

    Carl Stepp Magnet Tester
  • “I still don’t get how this would be more fun than just hanging out at a regular train station.”

    Eric Nathe Key Clerk

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