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Tickets Up, Concessions Down

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Tickets Up, Concessions Down

As movie ticket sales reverse the downward trend they've been experiencing in recent years, concession sales have been stagnant or lower. What do you think?
  • "It all went downhill when the government started letting people sell snacks at places besides theaters."

    Marie Brown Systems Analyst
  • "I just don't think I deserve Sno-Caps this year."

    Alex Tomasovich Gunsmity
  • “Oh, no! But our economy is built on candy! Oh, no, wait. That’s Candy Land.”

    Andre Stanley Accounts Receivable Bookkeeper

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