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Entertainment

‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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Tickets Up, Concessions Down

As movie ticket sales reverse the downward trend they've been experiencing in recent years, concession sales have been stagnant or lower. What do you think?
  • "It all went downhill when the government started letting people sell snacks at places besides theaters."

    Marie Brown Systems Analyst
  • "I just don't think I deserve Sno-Caps this year."

    Alex Tomasovich Gunsmity
  • “Oh, no! But our economy is built on candy! Oh, no, wait. That’s Candy Land.”

    Andre Stanley Accounts Receivable Bookkeeper

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