adBlockCheck

Tickets Up, Concessions Down

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Tickets Up, Concessions Down

As movie ticket sales reverse the downward trend they've been experiencing in recent years, concession sales have been stagnant or lower. What do you think?
  • "It all went downhill when the government started letting people sell snacks at places besides theaters."

    Marie Brown Systems Analyst
  • "I just don't think I deserve Sno-Caps this year."

    Alex Tomasovich Gunsmity
  • “Oh, no! But our economy is built on candy! Oh, no, wait. That’s Candy Land.”

    Andre Stanley Accounts Receivable Bookkeeper

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close