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Universe Crueler, More Uncaring Place Than Previously Thought

The universe, long known as a bleak and unforgiving place where essentially nothing matters, is in fact even crueler and more heartless than previously thought, according to a startling report published Tuesday by scientists at the Institute for Advanced ...

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Tim Russert Dead

NBC Meet The Press host Tim Russert died suddenly of a heart attack on Friday. What do you think?
  • "He's dead? But I just watched Meet The Press four years ago."

    Grant Coopey Graffiti Remover
  • "Anyone who thought Cheney was going to let him off the hook for his Valerie Plame testimony was kidding themselves."

    Karen Burton Dog Groomer
  • "You know who would have done a great job covering such a stately Beltway funeral? Tim Russert."

    Matthew Dull Masseur
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Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:

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