Toads Can Predict Earthquakes

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Vol 46 Issue 16

Adam Wainwright Annoying Entire Ballpark By Announcing Pitch Count Out Loud

ST. LOUIS—Despite a stellar complete-game effort against the Mets Sunday, Cardinals ace Adam Wainwright managed to irritate every player, coach, member of the media, and spectator in the ballpark by shouting out his pitch count every single time he threw the ball. "One," Wainwright said after his first pitch, just seconds before acknowledging his second by shouting.
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Toads Can Predict Earthquakes

After studying toads in a dry lake bed in Italy, a British doctoral candidate discovered that toad behavior may be an indicator of earthquakes. What do you think?

  • "Well, they certainly seem to have difficulty predicting when my car hits them."

    Jasmine Wray
    Kiln Operator
  • "Additionally, when one measures how deeply they're embedded into trees, toads can be a great indicator of tornado wind speed."

    Martin Halliwell
    Public Improvement Inspector
  • "Why do we need toads to warn us when we can just prevent God's wrathful earthquakes by rejecting basic civil rights for homosexuals? Or is that hurricanes?"

    Hank Miller
    Systems Analyst
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