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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.
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Tom Of MySpace Gone?

Breaking with years of tradition, MySpace no longer automatically adds company cofounder and former president Tom Anderson as the first friend of every new user who signs up for the social networking site. What do you think?
  • "I'm embarrassed to say that, although we've been MySpace friends for years, I hardly know the guy."

    Jamie Harris Babbitter
  • "He's learned the hard way about loving too much."

    George McCarthy Crate Builder
  • "Well, that's a shame. I'll never forget the feeling I got when I immediately deleted him."

    Melissa Payne Manugrapher

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