TomKitten's Silent Birth

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.

TomKitten's Silent Birth

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' daughter Suri was born Tuesday under Scientology's strict "silent birth" guidelines. What do you think?
  • "I read that the only sound allowed in the delivery room was the Cocktail soundtrack, on constant loop."

    Veronica Miller
    Senior Account Executive
  • "This 'silent birth' will seem like nothing compared to the 'silent post-partum depression' she'll go through for the next 10 months."

    Josh McCulloch
  • "That's great that the baby wasn't psychologically scarred. Now what about those of us who endured the press coverage?"

    Ashleigh McKinney
    Research Librarian