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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Tongue Stud May Cause Tooth Gap

A case study in the Journal Of Clinical Orthodontics showed that over a period of seven years, a young woman playing with her tongue stud inadvertently caused a gap to form between her front teeth. What do you think?

  • "Who cares? In seven years we'll all be so old anyway."

    Eileen Nahem Cashier
  • "If you're going to put something roundish and irritating on your tongue for that long, why not make it a microscopic pebble? At least you'll eventually produce a pearl."

    Renaldo Gonzalez Systems Analyst
  • "Seven years? But the Omar Sharif look-alike contest is this weekend!"

    Kevin Tessler Delivery Driver
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