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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Too Sexy Too Soon?

A new wave of sultry teen pop princesses, including Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Mandy Moore, are drawing fire from concerned parents, who say they present inappropriately sexualized images to little girls who look up to them. What do you think?
  • "I think it's terrible when 16-year-old girls dress up in belly-baring tank tops and tight little skirts. I hate those jailbait cock-teasers."

    Ben Manwell Forklift Operator
  • "Teenagers shouldn't have constant access to sexual images on MTV. They should jerk off to nudie magazines hidden under their mattresses like a normal person."

    Jerome Koepp Systems Analyst
  • "When I was a teen, things weren't like they are today. We had to use our imaginations to picture Petula Clark naked."

    James Reul Histopathologist
  • "These teen singers send young girls the message that if they dress and act provocatively, they will meet with approval from males and go further in life. How ridiculous."

    Janet Schnorr Family Therapist
  • "It was entirely inappropriate for Britney Spears to wear that see-through Catholic schoolgirl outfit in my masturbation fantasy last night."

    John Arvold Locksmith
  • "Kids aren't growing up too fast. My 10-year-old daughter loves Britney Spears, and I trust her not to go all the way with her live-in boyfriend."

    Lynn Phelan Nurse's Aide

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