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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Top Mexican Drug Lord Captured

The kingpin of the extremely brutal Zetas drug cartel, Miguel Angel Trevino Morales, known as Z-40, was captured by Mexican Marines while traveling in a pickup truck containing $2 million in cash as well as his bodyguard and personal accountant. What do you think?

  • “Thank God the drug war is finally over.”

    Chip Diffenderfer Unemployed
  • “I hope no one rises up to take his place.”

    Heather Garcia Cabinet Maker
  • “Z-40 is a cool name.”

    Wayne Gomes Rose Grower

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