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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Top Republicans, Corporations Call For Gay Marriage

Ahead of two upcoming Supreme Court cases challenging the constitutionality of state and federal laws limiting the definition of marriage, more than 80 top Republicans and over 200 corporations sent legal briefs to the justices arguing in favor of same-sex unions. What do you think?

  • “It’s good to see basic human decency and political machinations win out in the end.”

    Seth Behar Systems Analyst
  • “Well, I guess if the corporations are down with it, I am too.”

    Bob Holt Yarn Sorter
  • “That’s a pretty risky move on their part. What if all the gays decided to be straight again?”

    Alicia Athons Casino Manager
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