Topeka Decriminalizes Domestic Violence

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Vol 47 Issue 41

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CORAL GABLES, FL—According to a report released Monday by a group of environmental researchers, all the good seashells worth picking up and bringing home have already been taken, a development that threatens the very future of shell collection regionally.

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Topeka Decriminalizes Domestic Violence

Following a dispute between city and county officials over who should pay to prosecute offenders, the Topeka City Council voted to decriminalize misdemeanor domestic violence. What do you think?

  • “I can’t afford to bail him out again, so I guess my asshole husband and I are moving to Kansas.”

    Carrie Lemos
    Systems Analyst
  • "This wouldn't even be a problem if they had just criminalized back talk."

    Kevin Salerno
    Sewage-Disposal Worker
  • "But it being illegal was the most fun part about beating my wife."

    Mark Southerland
    Data Assembler
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