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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Topeka Decriminalizes Domestic Violence

Following a dispute between city and county officials over who should pay to prosecute offenders, the Topeka City Council voted to decriminalize misdemeanor domestic violence. What do you think?

  • “I can’t afford to bail him out again, so I guess my asshole husband and I are moving to Kansas.”

    Carrie Lemos Systems Analyst
  • "This wouldn't even be a problem if they had just criminalized back talk."

    Kevin Salerno Sewage-Disposal Worker
  • "But it being illegal was the most fun part about beating my wife."

    Mark Southerland Data Assembler
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