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Politics

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Tougher Bankruptcy Laws

Last week, the Senate made moves toward approving pro-business legislation that will make it harder for individuals to file for bankruptcy. What do you think?
  • "This is a victory for good, hard-working, God-fearing credit-card companies everywhere. Dry your eyes, Citibank, help is on the way!"

    Kim Emerson Systems Analyst
  • "Well, there goes my foolproof get-bankrupt-quick scheme."

    Javier Burris Cashier
  • "I guess my only hope for ever getting out of debt is declaring myself a business. Hey everyone! Shares in DougCo are trading at an all-time low."

    Doug Schaulsberg Ranger
  • "Look! I caught another middle-class guy! Here, hold his arms behind his back while I gut-punch him!"

    Arnold Kaufman Lawyer
  • "Ever since reading Charles Dickens as a child, I've felt that debtors' prisons had a romantic feel about them. Let's bring those back."

    Christian Irwin CEO
  • "If this doesn't teach Americans not to have medical emergencies or get laid off, I don't know what will."

    Stacy Goff Environmentalist

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