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Nobel Committee Awards Self Peace Prize For Once

‘Sometimes You Just Need To Treat Yourself,’ Sources Say

OSLO, NORWAY—Saying there was nothing wrong with treating yourself for a change, the Norwegian Nobel Committee announced Friday that it was awarding the 2017 Nobel Peace Prize to itself for once.

The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.
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Tourism In The Tsunami's Wake

While some travelers cancelled vacations to tsunami-stricken countries, others say that tourism is important for rebuilding the area's economy. What do you think?
  • "How can Thailand expect people like me to visit? What am I—made of bahts?"

    Carla Sparks Chef
  • "I'll bet the tourism drop-off would be reversed if the Western media would shift its focus to more positive coverage of tsunamis."

    Gordan Rami Repairman
  • "Well, I was going to visit the Greek ruins, but I might as well go where the ruins are still fresh."

    Brenda Ellis-Lee Salesperson
  • "I'll still take my annual vacation in Sri Lanka, but I'm going to be nice to everyone for a change."

    Joe Callister Cashier
  • "Whoa. Talk about the very definition of guilt trip."

    Tyler Wilson Systems Analyst
  • "It's time for the healing process to begin. Resident of Sumatra, another Mai Tai, please."

    Toby Leiffert Teacher

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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

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