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Tourism In The Tsunami's Wake

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‘People Are Inherently Good,’ World Halfheartedly Mutters

NICE, FRANCE—Following yesterday’s terrorist attack in Nice, France that left over 80 people dead and scores more injured, sources reported that a dazed and utterly dejected global populace halfheartedly muttered the phrase “People are inherently good” to themselves Friday.

Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

ISIS Starting To Worry New Recruit Huge Psycho

RAQQA, SYRIA—Admitting that the recently arrived jihadist’s disturbing behavior was becoming a serious cause for concern, several ISIS members told reporters Friday they were starting to worry that new recruit Said Hassad was a huge psycho.

National Security Experts: ‘ISIS Are Fucking Assholes’

WASHINGTON—Updating the public about the deadly attacks carried out in Brussels yesterday by members of the Syria-based jihadist group, national security experts held a press conference in Washington this morning to notify Americans that ISIS are fucking assholes.
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Tourism In The Tsunami's Wake

While some travelers cancelled vacations to tsunami-stricken countries, others say that tourism is important for rebuilding the area's economy. What do you think?
  • "How can Thailand expect people like me to visit? What am I—made of bahts?"

    Carla Sparks Chef
  • "I'll bet the tourism drop-off would be reversed if the Western media would shift its focus to more positive coverage of tsunamis."

    Gordan Rami Repairman
  • "Well, I was going to visit the Greek ruins, but I might as well go where the ruins are still fresh."

    Brenda Ellis-Lee Salesperson
  • "I'll still take my annual vacation in Sri Lanka, but I'm going to be nice to everyone for a change."

    Joe Callister Cashier
  • "Whoa. Talk about the very definition of guilt trip."

    Tyler Wilson Systems Analyst
  • "It's time for the healing process to begin. Resident of Sumatra, another Mai Tai, please."

    Toby Leiffert Teacher

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