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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Tourist Ban In Dutch Pot Cafés Upheld

A law prohibiting everyone but Dutch natives and permanent residents from visiting marijuana cafes was upheld in court last week. What do you think?

  • "Wow, they must have a lot of faith in their tourism board’s ability to talk up soused herring."

    Vincent Yuste Wort Extractor
  • "Great. Now what the hell am I supposed to do with my early 20s?"

    Giulia Burgess Tone Artist
  • "That’s okay. I find it’s best to stay sober and alert while visiting Amsterdam so that you can find the best prostitutes."

    Craig Banks Pest-Control Pilot

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