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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Town Fines For Public Cursing

The town of Middleborough, MA voted to impose a $20 fine on anyone using obscene language in public. What do you think?

  • "Like I've always said: Someday, only the rich will swear."

    Albert Lehman Marquetry Worker
  • “Why not just install some giant bleep machines all around town that go off really loudly anytime someone curses?"

    Raul Gillette Granulator Tender
  • "Good thing I've been working on my obscene pantomimes."

    Monica Daskawisz Unemployed
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