adBlockCheck

Recent News

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.

Tips For Hotel Etiquette

Staying in a hotel can be a fun and luxurious experience, but it requires consideration of the guests around you. The Onion presents its guide to hotel etiquette:
End Of Section
  • More News

Town Fines For Public Cursing

The town of Middleborough, MA voted to impose a $20 fine on anyone using obscene language in public. What do you think?

  • "Like I've always said: Someday, only the rich will swear."

    Albert Lehman Marquetry Worker
  • “Why not just install some giant bleep machines all around town that go off really loudly anytime someone curses?"

    Raul Gillette Granulator Tender
  • "Good thing I've been working on my obscene pantomimes."

    Monica Daskawisz Unemployed

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close