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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Town Sues Sriracha Factory Over Hot Sauce Odor

The town of Irwindale, CA is suing the local Sriracha hot sauce factory for what residents claim is the overpowering stench of chili peppers and garlic, alleging that the odor causes them to sneeze and cough, gives them headaches, and burns their eyes and throats. What do you think?

  • “Another classic tale of a small town versus a big warehouse full of hot sauce.”

    Marcus Storm Tube Sorter
  • “People always seem to find a way to complain about any little thing that makes their face burn.”

    Baron Panagos Systems Analyst
  • “They should just build a baking soda factory right next door.”

    Christine Wike Silver Inlayer

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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