Toyota Issues Its Largest-Ever Recall

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Frenzied Trump Supporters Admit They’d Be Just As Happy Tearing Him To Pieces

‘We’re Just Mad And Want To Destroy Something,’ Say Candidate’s Backers

WASHINGTON—Saying they simply needed something to direct their anger toward, the nation’s frenzied Donald Trump supporters admitted Thursday that, if circumstances were different, they would be just as happy tearing the Republican frontrunner to pieces.
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Toyota Issues Its Largest-Ever Recall

Toyota has recalled 7.4 million automobiles worldwide, including 2.5 million in the United States, amid reports that a malfunctioning power-window switch had been linked to more than 160 instances of fire and smoke emanating from car doors. What do you think?

  • “Lucky. When will somebody recall my 1998 Crown Victoria? It’s a piece of shit.”

    Henrietta Worrall-Jacobson
    Knitting Instructor
  • “Unbelievable. You’d think people would just be thankful that Toyota went out of its way to make cars for them, but instead there’s all this ungracious nitpicking.”

    Derek Monzani
    Produce Weigher
  • “Whoa, cool! Where can I pick up one of these smokin’ hot new cars?”

    Kiran Schubert
    Hotel Desk Clerk