Trampled Wal-Mart Employee's Family Sues Company

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Vol 44 Issue 49

Shitload Of Math Due Monday

OLD BRIDGE, NJ—Students dreaded spending all day Sunday with some retarded math book, especially one that doesn't have any of the freaking answers in the back.
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Trampled Wal-Mart Employee's Family Sues Company

The family of 34-year-old Jdimytai Damour is suing Wal-Mart for creating the unsafe atmosphere in which he was trampled to death by a crowd of shoppers on Black Friday. What do you think?
  • "All Macy's employees get guns, so we didn't have a problem. At least not that kind of problem."

    Pamela Miya
    Macy's Cashier
  • "In a tragic situation like this, it is very tempting to point fingers. A more productive solution, however, is to figure out a way to make that Wal-Mart store larger, so it is not as easy to be trampled."

    Stephan Miner
    Dental Hygienist
  • "I thought you couldn't put a value on human life. Turns out it's $457, the cost of a 32-inch Vizio HDTV."

    Jonathan Rivieccio
    Systems Analyst
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