Troops To Stay In Iraq

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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

Troops To Stay In Iraq

U.S. military officials recently announced that thousands of soldiers will remain in Iraq for longer than previously stated. What do you think?
  • "At least democracy's flowering over there. They could be here, where it's nearly fucking dead."

    Arthur Rucker
    Professor
  • "Good. Maybe it'll teach those weaklings some discipline."

    Jessica Burrell
    Salesperson
  • "As an employer of several U.S. reservists, I have one question: Who's gonna sell these motorboats?"

    Edward Enriquez
    Sales Manager
  • "I can't imagine why it's taking them so long to accomplish a simple little matter like stabilizing that particular geopolitical region."

    Maude Wilkenson
    Artist
  • "Boy, the Iraqis better develop a fun pop culture with cute cartoon animals and grown women in schoolgirl uniforms, or this will be a complete waste."

    Sammy Marsh
    Security Guard
  • "If our soldiers must be involved in a lengthy occupation, at least it's in a place without any dangerous weapons of mass destruction lying around."

    Martin Stearns
    Systems Analyst
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