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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Trump Team Fires Inauguration Announcer

Charlie Brotman, the 89-year-old announcer of every presidential inauguration since Eisenhower, has been replaced by Trump volunteer Steven Ray as a show of appreciation for his contributions to the campaign. What do you think?

  • “Swamp: drained.”

    Rory Martin Coatings Specialist
  • “I’m willing to see what new ideas an outsider can bring to this position.”

    Keesha Lambert Lectern Installer
  • “Having to announce the inauguration would be far more demoralizing.”

    Gil Hoffman Trampoline Packager
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