adBlockCheck

Recent News

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
End Of Section
  • More News

Trump Team Fires Inauguration Announcer

Charlie Brotman, the 89-year-old announcer of every presidential inauguration since Eisenhower, has been replaced by Trump volunteer Steven Ray as a show of appreciation for his contributions to the campaign. What do you think?

  • “Swamp: drained.”

    Rory Martin Coatings Specialist
  • “I’m willing to see what new ideas an outsider can bring to this position.”

    Keesha Lambert Lectern Installer
  • “Having to announce the inauguration would be far more demoralizing.”

    Gil Hoffman Trampoline Packager

More from this section

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close