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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Trying Children As Adults

Last week, a Michigan jury convicted a 13-year-old boy of second-degree murder for a crime he committed as an 11-year-old. What do you think of the growing legal trend of trying children as adults?
  • "As a federal judge and longtime closet pederast, I am strongly in favor of trying 11-year-olds as adults."

    Stanley Gibson Federal Judge
  • "I hope the adult courts have some of those plastic booster chairs."

    Liz Strunck Teacher
  • "I do not believe minors should be allowed to shoot people, nor do I believe their victims should be allowed to die."

    Hannah Leigh Psychologist
  • "Come on, people, didn't any of you go through a rebellious homicidal phase during adolescence? You grow out of it."

    John Roble Bartender
  • "I believe the children are our future: nasty, brutish and short."

    Bill Buchanan Systems Analyst
  • "Children should face the same consequences as adults for committing murder: four years in a federal penitentiary."

    Daniel Doering File Clerk

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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