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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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TSA To Allow Small Knives On Planes

Partially reversing rules that have been in place since the 9/11 attacks, the Transportation Security Administration announced that it would begin allowing passengers to bring pocketknives with blades shorter than 2.36 inches onto planes beginning on April 25. What do you think?

  • “The catch is you’re still not allowed to stab people with them.”

    Andrew Borrowman Clam Sorter
  • “Finally. It’s so annoying when you’ve brought all these strawberries on a plane and have nothing to finely chop them with.”

    Kurt Montoya Ammonia Still Operator
  • “I think you should be able to carry either a knife or shampoo. Not both.”

    Meagan Lema Roofing Supervisor

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