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TSA To Prohibit Uncharged Electronic Devices

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NFL Vows To Fix Bottomless Pit On Levi’s Stadium Field Before Super Bowl

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following persistent safety concerns regarding the playing surface throughout the regular season, the NFL made firm assurances Friday to both the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers that the bottomless pit in the middle of the field at Levi’s Stadium will be fully repaired before Super Bowl 50.

Area Man Would Hate Cam Newton Even If He Was Different Minority

MURRAY, KY—Adamantly stressing that his disdain for the 26-year-old quarterback is not based on any racial prejudice toward African Americans, local 49-year-old Michael Willet told reporters Friday that he would hate Cam Newton even if the Carolina Panthers star was a different minority.

Monocle-Wearing Oil Baron’s Cigarette Holder Splinters In Clenched Teeth After Hearing Bernie Sanders’ Environmental Platform

GREENWICH, CT—Leaving him visibly seething as he sat in his tufted leather wingback chair in his study, monocle-wearing oil baron Frederick Porter Harriman’s ivory-inlaid cigarette holder reportedly splintered between his clenched teeth upon him hearing presidential candidate Bernie Sanders outline his environmental platform during Thursday night’s Democratic debate.

Driving Vs. Public Transportation

Weighing factors such as convenience, time commitment, and environmental impact, deciding whether to commute via car or public transit can be difficult. Here is a side-by-side comparison of the two options
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  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

TSA To Prohibit Uncharged Electronic Devices

In an effort to ensure that electronics such as cell phones and laptop computers are not explosives in disguise, the Transportation Security Administration has announced new protective measures that will require passengers on some U.S.-bound international flights to activate such devices during security screening. Anything uncharged will not be permitted on board an aircraft. What do you think?

  • “I’d never void my MacBook warranty by putting a bomb in there.”

    Miriam Skoog
    Corporate Sidekick
  • “Whoa, imagine how weird that’ll look — an entire line of people just standing there all checking their phones.”

    Rudy Frost
    Book Sifter
  • “I look forward to this new opportunity to have a frank, screaming dialogue with TSA employees about my constitutional rights.”

    Paula Gammons
    Systems Analyst

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