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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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TSA To Prohibit Uncharged Electronic Devices

In an effort to ensure that electronics such as cell phones and laptop computers are not explosives in disguise, the Transportation Security Administration has announced new protective measures that will require passengers on some U.S.-bound international flights to activate such devices during security screening. Anything uncharged will not be permitted on board an aircraft. What do you think?

  • “I’d never void my MacBook warranty by putting a bomb in there.”

    Miriam Skoog Corporate Sidekick
  • “Whoa, imagine how weird that’ll look — an entire line of people just standing there all checking their phones.”

    Rudy Frost Book Sifter
  • “I look forward to this new opportunity to have a frank, screaming dialogue with TSA employees about my constitutional rights.”

    Paula Gammons Systems Analyst

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