adBlockCheck

Recent News

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

Tucson Shooter Switches Plea To 'Guilty'

After more than a year of being forcibly medicated, Jared Loughner, who is charged with killing six people and wounding 13 others, including recently retired Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, switched his plea from not guilty to guilty yesterday. What do you think?

  • “Oh, who even cares about him anymore? That was so many shootings ago.”

    Albie Sanger Starch Factory Laborer
  • “First he says he’s not guilty, and now he’s saying he is guilty? I’m beginning to think there’s something seriously wrong with this guy.”

    Isabella Mechoso Physical Therapy Aide
  • “I’m going to refrain from expressing any opinions until I hear what Nancy Grace has to yell about this.”

    Raymond Acker Poet
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close