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Tucson Shooter Switches Plea To 'Guilty'

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Tucson Shooter Switches Plea To 'Guilty'

After more than a year of being forcibly medicated, Jared Loughner, who is charged with killing six people and wounding 13 others, including recently retired Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, switched his plea from not guilty to guilty yesterday. What do you think?

  • “Oh, who even cares about him anymore? That was so many shootings ago.”

    Albie Sanger Starch Factory Laborer
  • “First he says he’s not guilty, and now he’s saying he is guilty? I’m beginning to think there’s something seriously wrong with this guy.”

    Isabella Mechoso Physical Therapy Aide
  • “I’m going to refrain from expressing any opinions until I hear what Nancy Grace has to yell about this.”

    Raymond Acker Poet

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