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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.
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TV Sports' Ratings Slide

Televised sports is in the midst of a decade-long ratings slump. What do you think of the steadily dwindling viewership?
  • "With all the televised sports out there–golf, NASCAR, WNBA basketball, Major League Soccer, pro beach volleyball–my total indif

    Dan Wiggins Bank Teller
  • "Maybe someone should invent a new game to reignite interest. A game where you eat snack cakes while throwing water balloons."

    Ted Bevacqua Custodian
  • "It seems odd that viewership is down, given all the slightly charismatic pro athletes out there."

    Stephanie Nettles Psychologist
  • "This is hardly surprising. That album came out nearly 20 years ago, and 'I Want A New Drug' was the only good song on it."

    Dana Gossage Homemaker
  • "I blame the networks. Their interstitial CGI graphics and exploding-helmet sound effects just don't pack the same entertainment

    Fred McReynolds Systems Analyst
  • "I guess I lost interest in televised sports when I realized you didn't need to watch it to hang out in Hooters."

    Carl Whitson Drill-Press Operator
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