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Police Find Super-Sharp Buck Knife

'It's The Kind With A Blade That Locks In Place,' Says Law Enforcement Spokesperson

Warning residents that the blade was “super deadly” and “badass,” city police officials held a press conference Wednesday to announce that they had found a really cool wooden-handled Buck-brand pocketknife on the street.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Twin Cities To Host '08 RNC

Minneapolis has been chosen as the site for the 2008 Republican National Convention. What do you think?
  • "With all the stress it's under, I understand why the Republican Party would fly into the arms of a predominantly white and doughy comfort state."

    Larry Adamson Beer Distributor
  • "This is a genius move by the GOP. Screw my liberal values. There's no way I'm standing outside in Minnesota to protest."

    Rhona Bargeld Dermatologist
  • "This is the problem with Republicans: They plan two years in advance for a convention and two months in advance for a war."

    Mick Haney Garment Worker
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Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:

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