adBlockCheck

Recent News

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
End Of Section
  • More News

Twitter Launches Anti-Troll Initiative

Twitter has announced the launch of an anti-trolling cybersafety committee to stem online abuse. What do you think?

  • “Nothing like falling stock prices to incentivize public safety.”

    Maude Garner Husky Breeder
  • “They’d do well to remember all the positive change that threatening to kill someone’s family has brought about.”

    Chris Zopolski Word Counter
  • “A whole committee? Jesus, I said I was sorry.”

    Grayson Pickett Bowling Journalist

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close