Two Kinds Of Humans

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Two Kinds Of Humans

British evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry claims that the human race may split into two sub-species in the next 100,000 years. What do you think?
  • "Well, I hope my descendents end up in the elite class, or in the roving pack of disobedient workers that live in the sewers and feed on the attractive."

    Aaron Knudsen
    Soccer Coach
  • "This is just like that movie The Time Machine. Wait, no, Revenge of the Nerds."

    Gary Curry
  • "Personally, I'm still pissed that we lost the vestigial tail."

    Dannie Clarson
    Life Coach