adBlockCheck

Tylenol No Better Than Sugar Pills For Helping Back Pain

Top Headlines

Recent News

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race

Report: Nobody Fucking Cares

NEW YORK—According to a brief but conclusive report released Monday, nobody fucking cares. “Doesn’t fucking matter,” read the report in part, which went on to inform readers that no one gives two shits, so fuck it.

Mom Sleeps In Past Sunrise

WOBURN, MA―Noting that she had somehow managed to sleep through both the dawn chorus of birds and her neighborhood’s early morning garbage pickup, 53-year-old local mother Laura Maloney confirmed that she did not awaken Monday until after the sun had risen.

Facebook Clarifies Site Not Intended To Be Users’ Primary Information Source

‘No One Should Really Be On Here More Than 15 Minutes A Day,’ Say Executives

MENLO PARK, CA—Addressing concerns about the site’s alleged bias in how it displays news stories in users’ feeds, Facebook executives held a press conference Thursday to clarify that the social network was not intended to serve as anyone’s primary source of information, and that its 1.6 billion active users should, at most, be spending 15 minutes on the platform in a given day in the first place.

Heart Attack A Real Wake-Up Call For Man’s Insurance Provider

HARTFORD, CT—Saying the incident had forced them to completely rethink their past decisions about the man’s coverage and how they would approach his policy from here on out, Aetna executives reported Thursday that the recent heart attack of longtime plan member Michael Burns was a real wake-up call for the 163-year-old insurance company.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Tylenol No Better Than Sugar Pills For Helping Back Pain

A new study has found that Tylenol is no more effective for treating back pain than placebo sugar pills. What do you think?

  • “An optimist would say that this study found sugar pills work just as great as Tylenol.”

    Kevin Springer Soup Ladler
  • “I hope the medical skeptic crowd responds to these findings with their usual scientific literacy and sense of proportion.”

    Bernard Horst Systems Analyst
  • “You mean the cure for back pain was inside me all along?”

    Jessica Jacobs Porcelain Doll Collector

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close