UN Taking Guns?

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.


UN Taking Guns?

The NRA is telling its members that the United Nations wants to take guns from American citizens on July 4th. What do you think?
  • "Has the NRA been paying attention at all? The UN can't make anybody do anything."

    Ben Billings
    Cable Installer
  • "The NRA is just trying to rile up its members—you know, inject a little enthusiasm into an otherwise placid and contemplative group of people."

    Catherine Weygandt
  • "If the UN has a better way to keep my neighbor's dog off my lawn, I'd love to hear it."

    Tim Benson
    Cake Decorator