Unabomber Property Down In Price

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Unabomber Property Down In Price

A 1.4-acre plot of land in Montana where Theodore "The Unabomber" Kaczynski lived is up for sale, its price recently lowered to $69,500. What do you think?

  • "That would be the perfect place to park my Kevorkian van."

    Kylie Laskin
    Systems Analyst
  • "Boy, that's rough. I hope he saved up some of that money he made from Unabombing people."

    Nick Young
    Coal Hauler
  • "That's okay. I've got my eye on a nice piece of land with four viable exits and clear sight lines to the Pennsylvania Capitol Building."

    Whit Feeny