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Unabomber Property Down In Price

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Unabomber Property Down In Price

A 1.4-acre plot of land in Montana where Theodore "The Unabomber" Kaczynski lived is up for sale, its price recently lowered to $69,500. What do you think?

  • "That would be the perfect place to park my Kevorkian van."

    Kylie Laskin
    Systems Analyst
  • "Boy, that's rough. I hope he saved up some of that money he made from Unabombing people."

    Nick Young
    Coal Hauler
  • "That's okay. I've got my eye on a nice piece of land with four viable exits and clear sight lines to the Pennsylvania Capitol Building."

    Whit Feeny
    Unemployed

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