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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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'Unbeatable' Checkers Program Designed

Scientists at the University of Alberta have developed a computer program that can never lose a checkers match, making checkers the most complex game solved to date. What do you think?
  • "So it took them nearly 20 years to make a 12-year-old nerd that no one wants to play with. Awesome."

    James Martin Air-Conditioning Repairman
  • "Along with daily weather bulletins and birthday reminders, science is apparently turning computers into my grandfather."

    Joseph DeLaRosa Produce Manager
  • "Yes, but what protocol does it have to deal with me flipping over the board in disgust and calling it a homo when I don't like the way the game is going?"

    Anna Tuchman Union Rep

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