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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Unemployed Face Job Discrimination

More and more companies are requiring job applicants to already have a job. What do you think?

  • "Makes sense to me. At my all-you-can-eat restaurant, we require you to show up full."

    Colin Wierzbowski Restaurateur
  • "As the head of a company myself, yes, I'd prefer that applicants already have jobs. Either that, or no work experience, an Ivy League diploma, and an entitled, overly confident attitude."

    Wendy Van Leuwen CEO
  • "And here I thought the trouble was me being a disabled, sixty-year-old black man."

    Rufus Lydecker Unemployed

More from this section

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

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