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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Universal Health Care For San Francisco

The San Francisco Board of Supervisors recently passed a measure to make free health care available to all of the city's uninsured. What do you think?
  • "First they make a mockery of my bitter, loveless marriage, now they make a mockery of my restrictive overpriced health care. Is nothing sacred to these monsters?"

    Henry Gaven Historian
  • "Wow, free health care. And all you have to do is live within the bounds of the city with the third highest cost of living in the country."

    Lexie Martin Building Mover
  • "I'm fine with this as long as there's an opt-out provision for people who prefer to be sick."

    James Palmer Nursing Student

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