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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Universal Slashes CD Prices

Hoping to revive moribund sales, Universal Music Group is dropping the price of most new CDs to $10 or less. What do you think?

  • "CDs, cool. One of those came with the last Fleet Foxes 45 I bought."

    Darnell Schwartz Line Manager
  • "I think a more realistic way for Universal to increase CD sales would be to develop some kind of device that erases the memories of everybody on earth so that no one realizes the Internet still exists."

    Douglas Yauch Loom Operator
  • "Right on. I can't wait to buy the next album from Universal."

    Taylor Diamond Semi Driver
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