adBlockCheck

University Shuts Down Marijuana Rally

Top Headlines

Recent News

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

University Shuts Down Marijuana Rally

In order to deter an annual marijuana legalization rally, officials at the University of Colorado–Boulder closed the campus to visitors and applied an odorous fish-based fertilizer to the lawn. What do you think?

  • "If the stench of 10,000 marijuana advocates isn't going to deter these people, a few pounds of fertilizer probably won't do the trick."

    Lorna Peakes Systems Analyst
  • "I wish I had college stories of huge parties that got canceled."

    Lane Hancock Mark-Up Designer
  • "This is what's wrong with today's college students. In my day, we burned down the dean's home and he learned not to mess with our drugs."

    Ted Winters Attorney

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close