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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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University Shuts Down Marijuana Rally

In order to deter an annual marijuana legalization rally, officials at the University of Colorado–Boulder closed the campus to visitors and applied an odorous fish-based fertilizer to the lawn. What do you think?

  • "If the stench of 10,000 marijuana advocates isn't going to deter these people, a few pounds of fertilizer probably won't do the trick."

    Lorna Peakes Systems Analyst
  • "I wish I had college stories of huge parties that got canceled."

    Lane Hancock Mark-Up Designer
  • "This is what's wrong with today's college students. In my day, we burned down the dean's home and he learned not to mess with our drugs."

    Ted Winters Attorney
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