Unlicensed Plumber and Tax-Evader Endorses McCain

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Fact-Checking The Third Presidential Debate

Presidential nominees Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump sparred over subjects including foreign policy, the economy, and their fitness to hold the nation’s highest office in the final debate Wednesday. The Onion examines the validity of their assertions

Intergalactic Law Enforcement Officers Place Energy Shackles On Hillary Clinton

PARADISE, NV—Materializing through a dimensional portal in front of a stunned audience at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, intergalactic law enforcement officers reportedly appeared onstage during Wednesday night’s presidential debate and placed a pair of glowing blue energy shackles on Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.

Trump Complains Entire Personality Rigged Against Him

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Responding to his flagging poll numbers and a string of newspaper editorials and cable news pundits questioning his fitness to lead, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump reportedly complained to a rally crowd Thursday that for the entirety of this race, his personality has been rigged against him.

Fact-Checking The Second Presidential Debate

Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican nominee Donald Trump discussed topics including national security, taxes, and their ongoing personal scandals in a contentious town hall presidential debate Sunday. The Onion evaluates the truthfulness of their claims

Trump Vomits Immediately After Seeing Everyday Americans Up Close

ST. LOUIS—His face turning deathly pale and beads of cold sweat forming on his brow as he took his seat for the town hall forum at Washington University, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump reportedly vomited directly onto the debate stage Sunday night upon viewing everyday Americans up close.
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Unlicensed Plumber and Tax-Evader Endorses McCain

Samuel J. Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber, has publicly endorsed McCain. What do you think?
  • "Eh, I'm 10 times more the working stiff than that jerk. I mean, look at me. I'm harnessed to a wagon full of coal."

    Ethan Goodwiler Laborer
  • "What was this guy's deal again? He was the king of the plumbers or something like that, right?"

    Gerald Henslue Furnace Installer
  • "You know, I really want to like people like Joe the Plumber, but they do a half-assed job fixing my plumbing, cut me off in traffic, and don't move an inch when their dog attacks mine at the park."

    Diedre Anderson Network Administrator


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